Envy or Desire? What is it Really?

The other day, I was speaking with a co-worker (I work in a school system during the day), and we got on to the subject of envy.  You see, she is one of those people everyone admires.  She can be a powerhouse and I envy her for her ability to keep her home beautiful, and for her amazing garden designs (she is a master gardener).  Sometimes, the envy is so strong, I start to feel bad about myself.Single Family Cape Cod Home

Now my home is  what you would call  “lived in”,  and my gardens have some weeds–only some of the hardiest flowers survive.  Don’t get me wrong, my house is presentable, it is just not the presentation that her home is.

My friend finds this to be natural for her, and she did not seem to understand why this would be difficult for me.

On the other hand, she told me that she envied  me!

She wished she could make jewelry out of stones and glass (she is one of my best customers) and would give anything to have that ability—and she told me that she feels bad about herself for not having that ability.

I have always believed that you can do what ever you desire!  I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t take some  metals classes and learn about jewelry making.

Well–of course she could take classes and learn to make jewelry.  And I could take classes and become a master gardener, if these are things we really DESIRED…  So what is Desire????

agatebracelet4The question is-do we use the word envy and desire interchangeably?   Is it enough to desire something or do we really need PASSION to go along with the desire.  

I firmly believe that we are wired to do different and wonderful things. I also believe we develop strong passions that drive us.   In the case of my co-worker, she is driven and beautifully creative in designing her gardens and the interior decorating of her home.  Her creativity is a passion and feeds her need and desire to have a beautiful environment which she tells me is very important to her.   Her gardens are a work of art and nature.

Making a silver ring
Making a silver ring

My passion has always been to make and build with my hands, and I have a deep love  and respect for what nature creates.

My desire is to create beauty that people can take and enjoy as they so choose.  My creativity centers on the building of something beautiful–also works of art and nature, yet so very different from home and gardens.  Plus, there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to do all of those things that others do.

So—How are YOU Wired?  And do you envy others for what they can do and you can’t?  Do you have the passion to do something beautiful?  If so, what is it?  Have you ever envied someone, and then followed that person’s passion?  Did you get passionate about something from envy?

And what role does money play in envy or desire?  Does money help with the drive to try something new?  Would money make a difference in the passions you would follow? Would you have less envy with more money?  Or do you envy those who live a simple life with less?   I would love to hear from you about what your thoughts are!  I welcome your comments



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6 Comments for “Envy or Desire? What is it Really?”

  • I love this post! I envy YOUR ability to play with materials and experiment! I am not like that. I wish I was. I get nervous experimenting. So, I love that YOU so freely welcome experimentation. I envy people who have what seems like a nature talent for things like cooking / baking or gardening, because I have to learn those things through books and trial and error. I feel okay in terms of what I can accomplish gardening; I can learn the things I need to learn to make my garden the way I want. Oh how I envy people who entertain effortlessly! I envy people who can pick up a paintbrush and recreate the world. I feel that even with a thousand lessons, I would never be able to do that! I feel like I am wired to create things on-screen (as in on the computer screen). I feel wired to take photos. I feel a complete thrill working with hot glass (to make lampwork beads). Maybe a way to look at it is to realize that everyone is unique and we all have things we are able to do effortlessly and with great results. And, we all have things we’re not so good at! I love being friends with people who have different skill sets than I do. It makes my world richer!

  • Wonderful post. I often find that people are not satisfied with their own talents. Strangely enough, I find that this envy sometimes turns into fear.

  • Great post, Lynne! I think it’s very normal to envy others gifts and wish we could be a better gardener, dancer, singer, etc. It’s also normal to discount our own talents. Isn’t that sad? Your post makes me appreciate what I can do, and not worry so much about the things that I admire, but aren’t necessarily my passion.

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